We all have causes that are near and dear to our hearts—mine are all ice cream related.

Don’t judge me.

Others think more globally—thank goodness. A cause that is near and dear to Ken Piper’s heart is Peace House Africa; an organization that educates AIDS orphans in Arusha, Tanzania. Ken and his wife were spotted (by METRO) at a fundraising gala:

Circa 1979 Bridgeman’s in Richfield, Minn had the typical children’s menus/place mats/coloring page but I knew of no other restaurant (I was seven years old) that had the light-up order number panel over the swinging kitchen door.

I always chose Chicken Dinner #7. It was merely a beautiful coincidence that it was the same number on the children’s menu/place mat/coloring page as my age. When that number lit up, you knew the waitress was about to bust through the door with your plate.

I will delete that memory from my cache as soon as that tired old hole is gutted.

Pizza Lucé is signing the closing papers this week (yay!!) and hope to have their newest restaurant open mid-Summer (YAY!!).

I love Richfield (thank you Academy of the Holy Angels for allowing me to graduate despite the multiple “infractions”) but, let’s keep it real: Richfield needs some serious help, it looks a little bit like a hangover.

Can Tanek + Pizza Lucé bring Richfield back to the post WWII optimism that it was built on? (Waving a flag, saluting) Y-E-S! A thousand times, yes. I can’t wait. And neither can all of those Holy Angels students with off-campus privileges. (Is that still a thing??)

I’ve watched those DQ workers operating the soft-serve machine. I’ve sensed how superior they feel. I’ve always longed for that power. But no more… thanks to (yo)gurt[lab] I can soft serve myself. MYSELF. MUHWAHAHAA!!

Let’s see… I pull a lever, frozen yogurt magically oozes forth into my bowl, I spoon fresh toppings on it and I don’t have to hand it over to someone else and take their grubby money? AND all of this is in a room that is so clean I could (if I had to) perform surgery? How does Tanek make everything better??

What are you waiting for?? GO!! 3100 Excelsior Blvd, Minneapolis

Would I be happier if I lived in the Tanek-designed $1,000,000 Penthouse at Harvester Lofts? Hmm, if home is where you hang your hat and home is where the heart is then my heart will be happy wherever I hang my hat. Right?

I choose Harvester Lofts $1,000,000 penthouse, now For Sale by Edina Realty.

It’s time for the Tanek Holiday party! Bring your Jing Tinglers, Flu Floopers, Tar Tinkers, Who Hoovers, Gar Ginkers, Trum Tupers, Slu Slumkers, Blum Bloopers, Who Wompers, Zu Zitter Carzays, and your Who Camio Flunx on December 16th!