The first race of the season has come and gone and I’m still deciding whether or not to put my Winter boots away. Anyway, Nat put his boots away, shaved his legs (what?! I know!!) and brought honor to his family.

His advancement to a category 3 racer means that he has more of an opportunity to blow out his lungs and have a heart attack. Or be smeared on the pavement at a higher speed.

I’m not sure how these Vitals for the 2011 Opus Criterium Series were obtained – but here they are:

High Speed: 38.2

Average Speed: 25.9

Distance: 17.06

Time:39:34

Heart Rate Average: 156

Max Heart Rate: 169

And here’s a little propaganda:

Winter in Minnesota is considered purgatory by most scholars. Six (plus) months of penance per year seems about right for the sins of the other seasons. Nat spends the Winter punishing himself on his stationary bicycle – hour after hour in his damp, cold cellar (I just threw those adjectives in – I’m sure his Edina basement is neither damp nor cold) pedaling his little heart out. Before Summer, he must spin the wheel of the stationary bicycle a lot. 5,000 miles – to be exact. I did some complicated geographical calculations and figured out that if Nat pedaled in the real world, he could get to Argentina.

Sometimes (in this case) words can’t adequately describe a (torturous) moment in time. But that’s where video comes in. This video will give you a small taste of the race that Nat (and the rest of the Tanek-sponsored-Flanders-Bicycle-Team) is training for:

An architect can only design so much before he/she says to him/her self, “You know what? I’d like to ride a bicycle up and down mountains.” Right? Anyway, here’s Nat taking us on one of his little trips. His little trips DOWN A MOUNTAIN. Good Lord, I feel sick just watching it.

So, while I’m sipping cold press and daydreaming, Nat is pedaling his bicycle at speeds that just ain’t natural.

I would go and watch one of his races but I wouldn’t know what to wear and I just can’t deal with the paparazzi.

Some people (Nat Shea) continue to bike through the Winter. I’d like to splurge for one of those remote car starters. Some people (Nat Shea) think it’s fun to race down the street like some sort of stampeding animal. I’d rather jostle my way to the Target check-out counter.

Those guys at Tanek love biking so much that they even sponsor the Flanders racing team. This team (which includes Nat) were invited to the Nature Valley Grand Prix this Summer. (Remember Summer?!) Nat is a category 4 racer and hopes to move up to a category 3. Same here. Just kidding. I’m a category 1.

See the Tanek logo??

I think maybe Tanek should sponsor something safer. Like sewing. Wouldn’t that be nice? Nobody runs into you at 30 mph.